Wednesday, September 09, 2020

"How to Get Along with People You Hate?" A Summary of One of ZHANG, Cheng's Broadcasts


Please listen in secret. Don’t tell the person you hate ^_^


Foreword

If you can simply say "Thank you. Call you later" to the person you hate, then you just leave it at that.  The problem is, you cannot but get along with someone who you have run foul of.  This article is to offer some remedies for this situation.



1. First Reduce Pressure for Yourself.

When you must get along with someone you hate, he or she must have brought to you an emotional burden. Before you change this reality, it is suggested that you take off stress for yourself as the first step.   It is better to think about how to deal with it stress-free as you will become wiser ⋯⋯



Stress Relief Strategies

1.1 Pay Attention to the Person You Hate.  


It is not that "he is not nice to you", but it is that he is "being nasty accidentally in front of you".


For example, supervisors, elders that you hate ...... Are they just being nasty as they are, or are they being nasty only to you and never to others? You will find that most of the cases are of the former (personality problem). So, the ability to distinguish will greatly prevent you from being hurt.  It is absolutely not easy to get along with an unhappy person, but you can learn to "observe his unhappiness" while knowing that it has nothing to do with you.



1.2 Don't Think "If I Make No Mistakes, I Shouldn't Be Hassled."  


A lot of our emotions come from the feeling of "being unfairly treated".  But the same rice feeds all kinds of people.  It is very normal to be treated unfairly.  You can change it, but don't think it should not happen.  Ms. Chang, Hsiao-yen(1 張小燕) once said that many new artists would often sob out their unfair treatment.  She would tell them, "You cannot ask others to treat you nicely. You can only make them willing to."  This is what an experienced person has learned.  If you can grow up quickly and keep in mind that "It's normal for others being unkind to me", you will have a lot more wisdom.




1.3 Give Thanks to Those Kind to You, Give Back and Devote to Them.

Needless to say, this will definitely make you feel happier. Besides, you will find that perhaps you give too much attention to the person you hate.



2. No Need to Change the Person You Hate, But Can Change the Way He Treats You.



Many people in this world are selfish, bad-tempered, immoral, and brazen-faced.  If you cannot stay away from them for now, you can still change the way they treat you so that they will restrain themselves on seeing you.



Strategies



2.1 Understand on a practical level, what is the most important value of your usefulness to the person?


If you check and find that you are of no use or replaceable any time, then you must self-examine whether you have misplaced yourself at all, or you are relying on others for a living.  If so, then you have no leverage at all.  I would suggest that you first strive to become a useful, even a "more bangs for his bucks" individual, then your existence will begin to have an impact.



2.2 When you understand the value of your usefulness in his mind, then you can start the "two-handed strategy".  


On the one hand, you display your value better than usual.  On the other hand, when he does something uncomfortable to you, tell him bravely that you do not like him this way.


Generally people are selfish.  They think with their own pros and cons, gains and losses.  Once they feel that losses outweigh gains, they will make a turn by themselves.  Therefore, by increasing your practical value in his mind, you will naturally have greater influence on him.



3. If you have always encountered the same type of nasty persons, you must be still lacking in some wisdom so that you attract annoying people into your life.  For example,



3.1 If you always meet people who do not respect you, which usually means that you do not have your own life goals.




3.2 If you always come across villains who want to attack and destroy you, which usually means that you like to be puffed, loved, but you are not really generous.




3.3 Being ostracized by others' circles usually means that one has encountered a bottleneck in career development. One cannot bear to see people of one’s same level, but one cannot go upwards.



Still you must solve your own problems and take yourself to a higher level so that pesky people at this level will be completely no longer a bother to you.



(1)  (a Taiwanese TV host and actress) 


Original Text in Chinese:

https://blog.xuite.net/mark001tw2009/twblog/212444642-如何跟討厭的人相處?



Tuesday, September 08, 2020

A Message for Spiritual Teachers: On the Truth of Salvation (Helping Others)

A Message for Spiritual Teachers: On the Truth of Salvation (Helping Others)


Dear spiritual teachers,  

We salute you all for your sincere efforts sending full-blown light and love in this world of duality.

_______________________________________________________________


Delivered by: M

Interviewed by: ZHANG, Cheng

Time: 04:00, November 20, 2005

___________________________

 


ZHANG, Cheng: 

How can we tell whether our assistance leads to a stagnation or a truly effective result?

 

Message: 

People yearning for self-growth will come to you, and you interact with them. 

This process will also help you with more clarity and greater insights. 

Then, this is an effective result, as you are also progressing on the path of growth. If a person is sick mentally, without any intention to grow and mature, your attention to them will consume your own energy and may draw you into his negative spiral .


 

M: 

The message reveals that the Dalai Lama shows his wisdom about life as an awakened soul, 

bringing a more comprehensive and cultural shelter to people. 

The same is true for your work. 

When someone is willing to figure out himself, you only give him a direction instead of stepping into that person's drama.


 

ZHANG, Cheng

What I have experienced is that to help someone, I must maintain a relationship as he wants. 

As a result, I run around restlessly in his drama.  

I am totally exhausted, but he still has no progress. 

It is very common especially when he is in periods of mania or depression. 



Message: 

The so-called "drama" is the life pattern someone weaves with his imagination and wants.

 

People in their emotional storms suffer indeed, of which the reason is their own causes and effects. 

When you are not ready, intervention may get you into trouble. 

If you cannot purify these negative energies, then you cannot take care of yourself and continue your own "purification". 

(Purification refers to the bodily and mental transformation to reveal the Great Essence with purity.)  

You have to learn from the Dalai Lama. 

When you have your own fragrance, you will naturally inspire all sentient beings. This is the direction for your work now. 

Of course, the "One at a Time" method to save people is also a path, but your purpose of coming down (to the world) is to help people with energy transformation on a larger scale. 



Here "drama" also refers to "greedy thoughts." 

When someone comes to you out of his personal greed, instead of learning or sharing the joy of life, or if he deviates from your mission and destiny at the current stage, there’s nothing you can do for him.


 

M: 

For example, if someone wants to rely on you simply for his own convenience, and he doesn't want to face his own real problems, you don't have to spend any effort on him, just give him directions and point out his problems. According to the message, the Higher Spirit helps everyone to know better that he can help himself. "Healing" in fact comes from himself. The Higher Spirit only gives "selfless blessing" and "convenient practice" to bring the healing effect. This "convenient practice" is that the people with fear need "gods", so the Higher Spirit plays the role of gods, helping them to activate their own power to heal themselves.

 


Message: 

Everyone comes into the world with some "divinity" to grow into a broader consciousness. 

If people are aware of the fragrance of their essence, they don't need these convenient practices. 

Those who have an insight into their own divinity, when “their helping others” makes them unable to stay awake, the Higher Spirit will come to pull him up.  

The purpose is to enable him to stay awake all the time so that he can return to the path of self-purification .

 

M: 

The amount of the messages is massive now. 

The information energy cluster which is contained in this small piece only can produce a book. 

This book is written for people pursuing divinity and the spiritual world, with answers to many of their questions. 

For example, why does the Higher Spirit contact them? Why choose them? Why do they choose this path themselves? …And many more. 


Next, it is not from the Message.  It is I that am interpreting the message energy:

 


Many people are awake occasionally. 

At these times, they are willing to explore and self-examine, so your investment is helpful to them.  However, most of the time, they are asleep and unaware. In those times, what a helper(you) needs to do is to make yourself more awake. Let those who see you be impacted and touched and decide to follow up. It is not that you have been trying very hard with him there, but he is still in his confusion, greed and laziness. You have to learn to distinguish more clearly whether he who comes is willing to grow. The “willingness” here are twofold. One is that he has been lightened up by you, and he is coming to you for that. The other is that he has prepared his own "oil" and only needs you to lighten it up for him.

 


Some want not only your enlightening up for him, but also your refueling. Due to his greed and laziness, he only expects to get close to you to be taken care of, which is impossible.


  

ZHANG, Cheng: 

What is the so-called "oil" compared to?

 

Message: 

That endless energy, a purified, givable fragrance. 

It could have been produced by ourselves, but because of greed, dependence, and unwillingness to share, we seldom burn ourselves and thus cannot feel the unending energy. 

In fact, when you share, give, and lighten up others, your torch will burn even brighter. 

If your torch is big enough, you don’t even need to lighten up others, those around you will automatically be enlightened.

  

In addition, when people get too familiar with a spiritual teacher,  they tend to NOT learn from him, but weave him into their own dramas. 

For example, due to their greed for convenience, those close to a spiritual teacher take his clarity as their own. 

Only after they leave him and encounter difficulties will they realize that there is such a big gap from him. 

Not until they really think about and face their problems will they know deeply how valuable his wisdom is. 

Those who want to “get close to a spiritual teacher" in order to "take care of themselves" can hear about his guidance, and yet, these things are not purified in their life, and thus not their own wisdom. 

Those who live with a spiritual teacher may have guidance and inspiration easily, without self-awareness, they may indulge themselves as easily once the difficulties are overcome. 

If the distance from a spiritual teacher is maintained, a person can taste the bitter fruit of his behavior more quickly, and be willing to truly listen to the guidance with humility, sincerely self-examine and change himself.


 

ZHANG, Cheng: 

It's such a pity.  Is it true that one can only learn after one has suffered enough?

  


M: 

We take the things which are easily obtained to be a “band-aid”.  Wrap one when you feel painful.  Resume your old ways when the pain is relieved. To see a spiritual teacher as your nanny is a crisis in self-growth.



Message: 

Suppose a spiritual teacher wants people to get close to nature, so he creates a garden and invites them to come inside. But these people never take care of the garden, they just use it and demand it. As a result, their rest in it makes them more energetic to continue their attachment outside. Originally a spiritual teacher's right path is to enlighten people's self-awareness, but if he becomes busy with their needs and be consumed too much, then both sides cannot get spiritual nourishment from such a relationship.

 

It takes a true lover of nature to take care of it. When you irrigate the garden, and give yourself in it, you will transform yourself in it.

 


"Participation" is important. We come to the world to "participate" in our own homework.

 

Therefore, some say: Why is life so hard? Why do we come here to do these lessons? The answer is, if you do not plant a flower in a pot by yourself, how can you know its value? Maybe you are already in heaven.  Simply because you don't even know their values, you see everything rubbish everywhere.  Only a real flower planter knows that dung is gold. In the eyes of recycle workers, what you think to be garbage happens to be a valuable resource.  Only when you participate in the recycling process will you realize it.

 

In fact, the earth is not "getting worse". You use the earth this way, then it changes this way; that’s all. For example, the ozone hole is described as "getting worse" based on human desires. However, for some new species, this is their beginning.

 


ZHANG, Cheng: 

Why do you mention this out of the blue?

 

M: 

Because the message jumps between lower- and higher-level spins, the message wants you to get used to it. "Homework" is just an expression in the human world. It is a lower-level convenience up to a higher-level convenience.  These things, in fact, are not homework or what, they are just natural changes. Be it a lower-level convenience or higher-level convenience, it is just "convenience."  If it really "arrives",  it is the so-called burning energy.

 

   (M Note: "Arrive" is just the "Now".)



ZHANG, Cheng: 

"Burning energy"? I have no idea about it.

 


Message: 

It doesn't matter if you don't know now.  This is not to your "convenience" now. 



M: 

I know it in my consciousness, but cannot translate it. …… This is why the Higher Spirit wants to contact you, a person who always purifies himself and gets in deeply.



Message: It may taste bitter in the process of distillation and purification, but it is essentially a path of joy.  

Since you actively transform yourself, you will suffer much less than many others. Some take a relatively "painful path".  

Not until they break heads and bleed will they start to examine themselves and turn back.  

Of course, they can also be rewarded with joy.  It all depends on how people choose. Now we jump to a higher level again!

 


Everything being just changing, why should someone set himself as something? 

If you set yourself as such, the moment becomes "pain".  If you do not set yourself as such, the moment becomes "joy".  You can say that "pain" brings a "gift", but it doesn't have to be that way. Taking pain does not necessarily mean to be “noble” and “something you must do”. 

 

(Silence for a moment)



M: 

Let me summarize the part of helping others. 

If you attend to others, the more you give, the lower your energy will be.  

You can only enlighten up "one" by "one". 

Moreover, if people never think to refuel their own lights (awakening), when the light of awakening is extinguished due to their internal conflicts, and they suffer in the darkness again, they will return to you for another lighting-up and consume your energy. 

On the contrary, if you allow yourself to be in greater energy of joy, which is so great that people can be lightened up by you at the same time without your presence.

 

Message: 

If you want to light-up people on a broader scale, you must be a larger torch so that people can come closer to their kindling points.



ZHANG, Cheng: 

This truth is not only applicable to helping others, but also important for friends with family difficulties. 

Many families have so-called "troublemakers" as well as so-called "saviors". However, one involves another. 

What we see is a tragic chain of fate. 

With obsession, one may lose the joy of life.  

He cannot save the trouble-maker, but will also become part of the negative spiral.

 


M: 

Right, and many "saviors", like "troublemakers", dare not face real problems. So, that kind of "salvation" only validates the savior.  

It is not really helpful.

The savior may create more negative things to drag down more people, and everyone suffers.

 


Message: 

"One is everything; everything is One". If you don’t help others, you can also collect yourself and return to "One." 

If you want to take up the human reaction mode and do the “worldly” work, or what you say like "I go help more people", then keep in mind that you can always see the other perspectives: 


I'm just purifying myself. Therefore, "helping others" can also be described as someone’s purifying process, which gives the world good reactions. 

In addition, when a person steps on the path of joy, which will affect many people unaware. This is also the so-called "secret virtue".


(To Be Continued)


Original Text in Chinese posted on 2010.12.23.  12:28

Original Text in Chinese


An Excerpt from "Dialogues with Buddha" written by ZHANG, Cheng & Mr. Fan