Posts
Some people have traits of dramatic personality. When fear comes, they tend to amplify it and then fall into great pressure. What’s more, they are prone to magnify the healing effects of spiritual courses, but the seemingly curative effects are also short-lived. As time goes by and the sense of healing fades out, they will feel empty again, with that fear arising bit by bit......If you have such experiences, chances are you may have a perfectionist personality.
Let me first explain why that sense of healing fades out. (Because) that “sense of healing" originates not from your authentic clarity, but from the design situations which temporarily switch you to another channel to feel the beauty of another belief.
"Clarity" refers to your "objectivity" and "diversity" in perspectives without the “ignorant craving” (namely, the “Ignorance" in Three Poisons--- “Greed, Hatred, Ignorance") derived from self-containment. For example, some may imagine the kind of income and environment a job can offer; however, only after years of practices will they realize the unknown hardships of all trades and professions, which are totally different from what they used to envy.
Some people show zeal for something out of their excessive imagination and romance (rather than simply loving it), which is packaged to become the driving force for their endeavors; however, such cause prevents them from seeing the reality. The so-called "perfectionist personality" is a person who lives in the ideal of his imagination, which is out of tune with his surroundings. There is a huge deviation between his imagination and surroundings.
In fact, people of perfectionist personality are often destined to be less broad-minded, and vice versa. A broad-minded extrovert will easily and cheerfully communicate with others, and his personality trait is "not taking things so seriously”. Although this trait makes his thoughts not so deep, on the other hand, he is more willing to listen to what others have to say, and more open to accept what they say. After he has integrated all kinds of messages, he will soon be able to lower himself, change viewpoints, and make adjustment beyond imagination. Besides, in this process, he is more able to establish interoperability resources with people from everywhere, so his "Path of Promotion" will be easier. Many outgoing, sunny-natured people are more successful in sales; this is not just their "good looks" that matter. The reason is that they do not take things so seriously that they are more able to learn from far and wide.
In contrast, introverts or persons with "suppressed passions" have narrower contacts, and they build a wall to shield themselves from different voices. For example, they tend to think, "This person and I are in different worlds. I do not feel like getting along with him." "I don't want to bother myself to have a word with that kind of person." As a result of their self-handicapping, they simply cannot hear different voices. These unheard voices, nevertheless, are often exactly what they need. Without these different voices, they will always be repetitively hitting the wall, unable to achieve what they hanker in hearts.
People all have the energy to “create or develop something”. It is easier for broad-minded people to use this energy for creation as they have more ways to stand out. However, if introverts or people with suppressed passions cannot bring out talents, this energy will have no outlet but to become an internal drive for being picky and fault-finding.
For those who suppress passions by nature, and if they further evolve into fault-finders, they will have high risk for depression! Such is the process how a large proportion of victims come to suffer from depression.
What is the best thing to do, then? Personality, of course, is not something that can be changed overnight. An introvert is not likely to morph into a broad-minded person in a second. But first of all, think carefully: can the ideal picture in your mind exist solidly in the real world? Or is it just a "cave" for your escape? A broad-minded person often interacts and exchanges with people and things around him. The “chords" of his life resonate with everything in his surrounding; in fact, this is closer to "oneness" (and of course, just a small "oneness"). But a gloomy person has no way to communicate with others, but sees their shortcomings, which, compared with the perfection he imagines, will provoke lots of conflicts and resistance. Therefore, he simply wants to take no trouble and unify with his own sweet imagination!
Such situation is as if a person has been imagining living on the moon, but in fact his feet tread practically on the earth and he moves with the rotation of the earth. Since so many things on the earth make him annoyed, he flees to the "oneness" he has imagined. Some religious beliefs then virtualize this imaginary "oneness" for his escape. (Here we are not referring to any particular sect but presenting the basic principle. Please do not take it personally.)
A broad-minded person has been exchanging with and learning from the real world, and he never stops adjusting himself. Indeed, he will lead a better and more balanced life and enjoy greater wisdom and wealth. His energy will continue to expand upwards. But he who has always wanted to become one with his own imagination (ideal) will become more and more isolated. Those who would talk with him will later find him too difficult to get along with and gradually alienate him. Many people with depression or bipolar disorder have such experiences.
They all have their imaginary (rightful) perfection or ideal, but there is one thing missing, and that is called "consideration" or "compassion".
What is "consideration" or "compassion"? It is that you will not close the link in between when you consider someone inferior. In fact, anyone can be your "teacher". That is, anyone can enlighten you. But before you can see it, you tend to have made an abrupt conclusion.
An office clerk will understand the reason why he can sit comfortably in the beautiful office is that many people work in dirt and it takes bits and pieces to turn dirt into beauty——if he can exchange with workers. When he becomes conscious of this, he will have a sense of oneness with the workers, and he will realize that all work is important. Furthermore, he can grasp in gratitude the great philosophy of life ——that all beauty comes from dirt, both of which are inherently in oneness.
Some people in spiritual circles, unless they fall badly, will keep hiding in their utopias. When they link together and help each other in the same utopia, they seem to offer themselves more reassuring sustenance. They exchange with the same vocabulary on the internet; they understand and cherish one another. But whenever someone comes up with something against this utopia, they will either criticize it at once or close their eyes and ears and just ignore it.
However, a person hiding in an utopia will surely have his lessons. Why? The reason is that there exists not only the day, but also the night on the earth.
When the night comes, he will be suffering. Others relax in the dark night. They relaxt safe and sound, but he simply cannot. During the day he has been dealing with a lot of things. Exhausted, he cannot relax even at night. As a result, the candle burns at both ends. At last, he increasingly feels that part of him is going crazy, and he has no idea when he will lose it.
This is the whole story about depression, and the point of all is, "There is an ideal in your heart, but you get scared in life, which becomes even more scary as you dwell on it. At the same time, the ideal becomes even more beautiful as you dwell on it so that you would rather hide yourself in the 'beautiful ideal'."
In fact, you must, like Buddha, put both feet solidly in the dust and exchange with all sentient beings. Then you can truly see the prospect of the "World of Buddha" through all sentient beings. If not, you'll be simply walking on the opposite side of the path and falling into hell. Your obsession with perfection will instead lead you to the process of becoming a ghost (such as the so-called "Social Justice Warrior").
We must often exchange with others and be willing to understand their situations and thoughts. As we do not isolate ourselves, we will examine, adjust and devote ourselves through these contacts. Then we will grow. When you have been severing, criticizing, isolating or closing, you will be in danger.
The ideal in your heart can become the driving force of your efforts, but it should not become your critique and rejection of the reality. You must find a way to improve your reality in the real world and make it better.
A truly capable person is he —— who will find a vase, put in a fresh flower, and tell himself to start from right here even when he lives in ruins!
The willingness "to change the status quo a little bit" will get one out of perfectionism, but this is what perfectionists always hate to do. However, the willingness to “change the status quo a little bit" is the most precious “Return to Good". This is the right thing to do.
Suppose you suffer from severe depression. There is one little thing you can do to improve yourself. And that is, you are willing to accept this goal and say, "Well, I do not mind anything little. Let me give it a try." This is what it means by “Return to Good”. The accumulation of doing these "correct little things" is like the gradual acceleration of high-speed rail. Although both need to start from zero, and yet in the end there can be huge progress. And you will be enlightened to the true “God" in this down-to-earth process.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please let me know if you find this article helpful.